Thursday, March 21, 2013

Meet my husband, David Tennant.

"Have you met my husband? Yes, that's him. The tall, gangly fellow over by the punchbowl. Yes, he's wearing Converse with his suit. And yes...that's a trenchcoat. What does he do? Well...he's The Doctor. That's right. The Doctor. Of Fucking Gallifrey. And you know what? His TARDIS is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside."

That's how it would have gone, if I brought my husband to my high school reunion. Or if I had a husband. Or if my husband was The Doctor, which David Tennant is not. Nor is David Tennant my husband.

Celebrity crushes. We all have them, and lets not insult each other by pretending that we don't. You might be a realistic person, but so help me, if you ever deny that you may have dreamt of walking down the beach hand in hand with Tom Cruise (or Danny DeVito or whatever type floats your boat), well...you're a liar. Shut up and go away. Mine, for a while, was David Duchovny. And even now, if I were to meet him on the street and he were to ask for my phone number...I'd give it to him. Although my husband David Tennant might object- that's okay. Because neither possibility exists, and that's okay.

Patrick Stewart is going to get married to his longtime girlfriend, Wendy Something-Or-Other-Doesn't-Matter-Because-She-Isn't-Me. Ian McKellan is marrying them, which is sweet, and hopefully he'll turn out to not have the proper credentials so that Patrick Stewart is free to marry...ok. Fine. Yes, I know he's old enough to be my grandfather, but he's Captain Picard, and that is the only thing that matters ever at all. Period. When I read this, I admit that I silently mourned for a second, because yet another of the celebrity crushes is off the market. Bummer.

Hm. Who else? Gwyneth Paltrow is on the list, because she's beautiful, and hey- Pepper Potts. Red hair. Come on. I happen to think she's a lovely person. Even if her website suggests a lot of things normal people like myself can't afford...well, that's okay. Her heart is in the right place to even suggest it and share with the world, and that's the point. In the light of recent celeb babies I can't even say I object to the names of her kids anymore, because...come on. Blue Ivy. Enough said.

And then there's Dean Cain. I remember when Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman was on, and Dean Cain and his everything was there...and...yeah. I was a young girl, and suddenly I could be Lois Lane to his Clark Kent in my vivid imagination. I'd have been more than happy to Daily his Planet or whatever any day at all, because he had a look that just made you want to leap over tall buildings in a single bound. And even still...well, he's pretty darned handsome even now.

This could go on for a while, so I'm going to just close up by saying that if you have a celebrity crush you probably possess a decent collection of their movies or CD's, and a stack of magazines featuring this person. You probably wish you could plaster your bedroom walls with their pictures but don't, fearing someone may mistake you for a stalker. But loving them from afar is all in good fun, and as long as you're not sending them fingernail clippings or cuttings of your hair...well, I'd say you're all right. Go watch Law and Order: Special Victims Unit and swoon over Mariska Hargitay like I do...and don't feel any shame in doing so (I mean, who would? She's amazing, that woman.).


Monday, March 18, 2013

Sloth and Baby Ruth: A Love Story

We all remember that movie, right? The Goonies, released in 1985, with the adorable Sean Astin (Samwise Gamgee, ladies and gentlemen! Cutest roly-poly Hobbit the world will ever know) starring as an inhaler toting youth hell bent on finding hidden treasure. I loved that movie, and will forever remember how Sloth absolutely adored Baby Ruth's, and the look on poor Chunk's face when he discovered the freezer full of Ben & Jerry's only to have the dead body tumble down on top of him (I don't know about you, but that would pretty much put me off ice cream forever).

Well, Sloth loved those candy bars. Chunk loved...all food. And me? Well, in the last week or two I've been trying ('trying' being the operative word, as I tend to 'try' my way into a bag of chips or a candy bar pretty easily) to eat better, and in doing so have thought back on the junk food I once could devour without even blinking an eye. Remember those days, when no one gave a shit about calories and the fact that everything contained high fructose corn syrup meant pretty much nothing?

Yeah, so do I. And in remembering those days, I reflect upon the candy I once loved, and the things I will no longer eat because adulthood has robbed me of that joy.

Butterfingers:

"Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger". Bart Simpson loved them, and were he a real person you'd be able to imagine him kicking a man in the jewels to take back his beloved candy bar. I probably wouldn't have resorted to violence, but I certainly went straight for the orange wrapper every time I was given the chance to get candy at the convenience store in the little town I grew up in.

These days I can't stand them. Sure, the taste is still wonderful, and they still melt on my tongue like they did when I was younger, but the buttery, flaky innards get stuck in my teeth and make me feel as if I could sprain my tongue trying to work them out. Floss rarely helps, and toothpicks are never around unless you're at the cash register in a Chinese restaurant. So the option, as much as I hate to say so, is to simply avoid them as often as possible. There are, of course, the times when I just can't say no...and those are the days when I'm found working the candy out of my teeth with a grimace.

Sugar Daddys (or Sugar Babies)

Ouch. Seriously, they were so good to eat, once upon a time. So chewy and delicious, and a lovely bit of buttery caramel you could work around in your mouth until it melted into oblivion. They were sweet and wonderful, and pretty much available anywhere in their lovely yellow wrappers. You'd be happy to just eat them for hours (if you could manage to make it last that long), and they were always everything you hoped they would be.

Now? Well, again, it's a 'stuck in your teeth' situation. I'm pretty sure my teeth hurt now, just because I'm thinking about them. There's a term for that, I'm sure- phantom pain, or tactile memory, or some such thing- but ultimately the memory is enough to steer me away from them. It's another thing that sucks about being an adult, but when you're paying your own dental bills it's really good to listen to that instinct.

Pixie Sticks

There's not much to say here. But pouring straight sugar down your throat? Yeah. That's really a no brainer when you're reaching the age where you should really watch that shit or risk diabetes due to overindulgence. Not to say, of course, that kids should be indulging...but adults really shouldn't. We've got beer, and that's bad enough. So stick to the beer (not that I'm encouraging alcoholism. I'm not. So if you have a problem with that...you should avoid it. There you go).

"The candy man can, 'cause he mixes it with love and makes the world taste good...." - 'Candy Man', from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Driving Miss Awesome

Had the pleasure of using a car today. For those not in the know, I do not currently possess a car, and this is a fact that haunts me daily. Living in a city like mine and not having a car is absolutely miserable...albeit a great way to stay in shape ( "Family Guy" reference. Catch that? Yeah.) But cars cost money, and working in the salt mines as I do, one really has no money- just a deep seeded hatred of salt (kidding on that. I love salt. In fact, we're getting married in August. Registering at Hannaford.).

So today I drove. Drove to get coffee, drove the long way to the other side of town to get groceries, then back to coffee. Perfect day for the windows to be down and music to be as loud as possible. I think I may have shuffled through the same CD several times, with Rhianna, Taylor Swift, and Christina Perri as my co-pilots in this incredibly aimless jaunt all over town.

I love driving. People say, as people do, that one will only really love driving as long as one doesn't do it all the time. I swear by my pretty floral bonnet ("Firefly". They have spaceships- not cars, so this really has no point.) that I always will, because there's nothing better than driving on a nice day and just enjoying the scenery. Sure, a person can walk, run or jog...but it just isn't the same (and I don't know about anyone else, but I hate running, walking or jogging in public. It's just not comfortable). However...you can also drive in your pajamas, whereas walking in them makes you appear as if you're going to Walmart (*ba-dum-dum.).

So...I drove. Not anyone crazy, not up the wall...but a car. It was fantastic, it was invigorating, and it was freedom. It was brilliant- and to have someone trust you with their vehicle just adds a joy to it that only enhances the great fun.

"When I'm driving the highway by myself is when I write best."
- Willie Nelson

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

A Geek In Chic Clothing

I'm a geek ("What?" You say, "You? No! You don't look like a geek.."). Well, long gone are the days where geeks are assumed to only be those in Star Wars t-shirts who never shower or have a single comic book out of place (I'm well aware that not all geeky folk avoid showers. Please be aware, my dear friends, that I mean no offense!). These days geeky folk are just as likely to be tucked neatly into suits and ties, with elegant hairstyles and neatly applied makeup.

Look to your left. If you're at a stoplight, the guy in the next car may look like an engineer or an architect, but he may have a desperate love of Star Wars and have a Maine Coon Cat named Chewbacca. You never know.

Now, while I've managed to use the typical geek stereotype in this post, I do so with the intent of making a point: while geeks once upon a time were mocked and teased, being a geek now is an entirely different story. It's 'cool', or moreso than when I was in school years ago. The geek culture lurks beneath the surface of many a man, woman and child, and the opportunity to nurture the budding is everywhere. Some may be Star Wars fans, while others may be Star Trek fans (I'm in that camp, and proud of it!). Some may have a closet full of TeeFury.com shirts (Seriously, check it out. It's a ten dollar t-shirt a day, and some are fantastic. Not all are geeky.), while others may sleep with a giant stuffed Adipose (It's a Doctor Who reference, so if you're not familiar...check out the tenth Doctor, and watch. WATCH.).

Last summer I had the privilege of attending PortCon, a shiny four days ("Firefly" reference. If not familiar with Firefly...you're missing out.) of anime and comic goodness. FOUR days of so much geek that I came away from those four days feeling more accepted in my Doctor Who/Star Trek loving nature than I ever have. There were costumes (the BEST Link and Zelda EVER, Chell from Portal, even Richard Castle himself in his writers vest), panels on subjects ranging from "The Costuming Of Doctor Who" to "It Came From Not America" (A panel on...you guessed it...bits of Geek Culture that didn't come from America. Great shows that did not originate on these shores). Days were spent pouring over the schedule and agonizing about whether we should attend the Joss Whedon panel ("Buffy", "Firefly", "Dollhouse") or go to the Geek Jeopardy tournament. I'm telling you- there's not much that will get me out of bed at eight in the morning, but the Joss Whedon panel definitely won that honor. I love that man, and if he ever, EVER cooperates with Fox again, I will personally beat him until he's dizzy. They don't do him any favors.

But I digress.

There was a director that debuted (as far as I know- he may have shown it elsewhere) his new film, "Lloyd the Conqueror", which took a pretty high spot in the list of admired films my roommate no doubt keeps in his movie-happy brain. I didn't see it, but I heard SO much about how amazing it was...so I feel like I was there. I think I'd chosen to hang out in the video game room and play some classic Mario 3 with one of the PortCon staff members, and I know THAT was a throwback for me. Nothing like Mario.

Being a Geek means  you have to deal with a lot of assumptions. If I wrote fanfiction (yes, I did. I do. I still do.), I faced questions like "Don't you have anything better to do? You must have a lot of time on your hands." I often feel, when I get that sort of question, that I should fire back with "Oh, you watch cars running around and around a track? Don't you have anything better to do?" (Sorry, NASCAR fans. Really. I don't get that, and you don't get why I like to watch fictional characters on a fictional starship. That's okay).  But you know, just because I play video games to unwind instead of throwing back a few beers and watching a football game doesn't mean that I have nothing better to do. It means that my method of unwinding is to escape, albeit temporarily, into a world that isn't my own. It's a lot of fun, really, once you give it a chance. And growing up, I never let myself admit to people that I liked Star Trek (I did sometimes, but a lot of the time I hid my Star Trek books in a book cover and wrote fanfiction with the sheet of paper under something boring). Because I couldn't handle the way people would make fun of it. And there was no shame- there never has been. What's the shame in being a geek?

So today I urge you to embrace a geek (not literally. I'm not kidding- some really don't shower. Go to a gaming store sometime. You'll find I'm right.), and don't laugh. Don't roll your eyes, don't look at their Doctor Who t-shirt and sigh when they say they play Magic: The Gathering (Trust me, after my experience I still want to roll my eyes at that, but I don't judge. Because to each his own. And at least they aren't murderers.). Just think of the fact that it's no worse than a NASCAR fan, or even a reality TV fan. They love it, so who are any of us to judge anyone?

After all...some day the Geek shall inherit the Earth. Right? :)

"When I was a kid, it was a huge insult to be a geek. Now it's a point of pride, in a weird way." 
                                                                                                   -J.J. Abrams

Saturday, March 2, 2013

It's Cooking Time: Julia Childs Style!


    "Hellooooooooooo!"

     Admit it- you just read this in Julia Childs' voice, didn't you? Admit it!

     All right. It's okay if you didn't. In fact, it's okay if you don't even know who Julia Childs' is (No, actually, that's not really okay. Go find a cookbook. She was pretty rad.). The fact of the matter is, this post is NOT about Julia Childs. It is, however, about cooking. I do a lot of random experiments with cooking, as on a normal day you may find a thousand ingredients in my kitchen, none of which go together. When that happens the only logical step is to find a recipe online and cobble it together with some other recipe to make exactly what you wanted, or a rough approximation of.

     In my case, it's chicken and mushrooms today. I'm feeling as run down as a person with a cold should, so while I'm taking it easy for the most part I'm also aware of the mushrooms that will be going bad soon and the chicken I pulled out to thaw yesterday. A single chicken breast does not a huge meal make, but for a single person it's just enough (#SingleLife, for those who will get it. Hahaha.). And mushrooms can be used for quite a lot, but my absolute favorite use for them is stuffed mushrooms. Which are awesome.

    What to do? All of the stuffed mushroom recipes called for things I don't have, but having made them before and eaten them often, I was able to piece together what I think is a decent idea of a recipe. And they can be cooked with the piece of chicken in the same pan, so...bonus. I removed the stems and shredded them with a Hello Kitty fork (Not necessarily, of course, but exactly the right size for the cute little bowl I used). I added a pretty generous amount of minced garlic, and disassembled a leftover veggie artisan breakfast sandwich for use of the Monterey Jack cheese. The ingredients were minced further with the Hello Kitty fork, and then stuffed into the happy little mushroom caps.

    Considerable amount left over, as those mushroom caps really can't hold much (Doesn't that bring to mind Toadstool, from Super Mario? How much do you think HIS little head could keep inside it? I can't imagine he was the most useful. Unless he was of Portabello Mushroom ancestry.). So what to do with that? Well, as the chicken breast was already fairly flat, I basically just cut slits in it and stuffed the rest of the mushroom/monterey/garlic concoction inside.

   From the smell, I may have used a hint too much garlic. But they say garlic is good for...everything. Right? So I feel that it may be okay. Only time will tell, so in another, oh...eighteen minutes, we should know if my makeshift dinner winds up a wash, or not.

"Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all."
                                                                     `Harriet Van Horne 

 

Friday, March 1, 2013

There's an App for that! And that...and that...

In the days of Smartphones and Tablets, there's always someone sitting somewhere whose fingers are merrily tapping away at the screen of their smartphone, as I am now. Some days there are people taking the extra mile and juggling a smartphone, tablet, AND a laptop. I remember the day I got my new kindle in the mail. I sat at the kitchen table with my iPhone, my kindle, and my laptop, and my roommates took a picture.

And then I'm at a Starbucks one day, sitting at a table with a friend of mine. We're both on our iPhones (4s. Siri. Love my girl Siri.), and some random person stops to ask if we're texting each other. No, sir, we are not- but we ARE each using a different app for our own personal amusement. She, I believe, was using Snapchat (Take a picture, send it to someone else, and they have a designated amount of seconds to look at it, depending on you. I choose six seconds, typically because I figure that's fair enough.). I, on the other hand, was checking in on Foursquare (Check in at a location, leave pictures and/or comments about this location. For example: I check in at Selah Tea Cafe. I take a picture of my awesome Valentines Day cupcake. Now anyone who has Foursquare not only can stalk me at Selah Tea Cafe, but can also tell how awesome their baked goods are.).

There really IS an app for everything. Not that I believe this to be news to any of you, because you may be checking this blog RIGHT NOW from a Smartphone or a Tablet via an app of some kind. I update it frequently through the Blogger app, which is why you may see many, many spelling errors. iPhone 4s, while lovely, doesn't often catch all of the mistakes when typing in Blogger.

And then we come to Instagram!!! Adorable way to share pictures, allowing you to also add filters and frames. Makes them even cooler looking. Maybe there's no productive point, but it's definitely a fun way to play 'amateur photographer' among your peers.

Today I downloaded the Shaws app. Because I'm becoming a crazy bargain hunting lunatic (present company accepted), and the idea of constructively cruising for coupons and deals is more appealing than cruising Pinterest for ideas that, while fun and creative, are things I will likely never do. So I spent a small amount of time shopping the app for ideas on what I may get on my next excursion into the wilds of the grocery jungle.

My god. The list can go on...and on...and on. Evernote is another good app- allows you to keep track of things, add photos, etc. Like a happy little day planner...and made even more fun if you add Skitch, which allows you to doodle in the margins (although only really effective on a tablet).

I'm thinking I'll probably update now and again as I find useful apps (Like the Shaws Supermarket app!), but needless to say...

...if ever you're in need...there's probably an app for that.