I think the D is broken...

Isn't that always the way, that your warranty expires and all of the problems just manifest themselves in a span of time that rivals how quickly small children can get into mischief. I mean, you barely turn around and -bam- the 'd' button no longer works and the spacebar makes horrible clicking noises like it's trying desperately to ride an imaginary pony without the coconut shells for effect. Everyone knows- you need coconut shells to ride an imaginary pony.

I work in customer service, and every single person who calls in about some sort of problem gets all up in arms when they discover that they have to exchange their device due to some sort of malfunction. It's not even the fact that they have to actually exchange it, but more the fact that 'You mean I'm going to get a refurbished phone/tablet/husband/dog/universal remote'? 

Of course you are. You're going to get a refurbished phone/tablet/universal remote/spaceship/BB gun/kitten because you've USED yours, and we aren't giving you a brand new phone/tablet/universal remote/key to the city/refrigerator/hissing cockroach. Because yours wasn't brand new, so why on earth should you get a brand new one? 

And why do you have to pay for it? Five dollars or twenty, six buttons or six hundred buttons? Doesn't matter- it costs to do it. Some poor worker somewhere has to take your gunky disgusting phone/tablet/book light/pizza pan/shoulder massager and actually take it apart to fix it. So you might have sneezed on it, your schnauzer might have peed on it, and you may have herpes...so they have to charge a fee. It's minor, and if you're being given a replacement for free...you shouldn't argue. Because that's much better than an insurance deductible.

That's another thing: insurance deductibles. If you got insurance for your iPad and your iPad gets stolen by some thug who just wants to use it to buy his baby mama some bling on ebay...well, you're going to file a claim. And the insurance company is going to ask you for some money, because you may only have been paying for your insurance for a few months, and there's no way you've been paying enough to cover the replacement of any sort of iDevice.

And if you go to the doctor, unless you're under twenty-five and/or have REALLY GOOD INSURANCE, you're going to pay a deductible. It may not be much...but even the ER has at least a $100.00 deductible. Same goes for car insurance, pet insurance, and pretty much every type of insurance you can think of...or I can think of.

So the moral of this story is: nothing is free. NOTHING. It's probably going to happen whether you like it or not, and the 'd' button will stop working when it *amned well pleases (see what I did there?), and the only thing to be done is to realize the universe is out to get you and pay up. If you can't pay up, then clearly you bit off more than you could chew in owning an e-device or universal remote shaped like the Sonic Screwdriver of the 10th doctor....and you may have to go back to the crappy old universal remote they sell at the local Massively Ridiculous Mart for all of five dollars. 

Pay your deductible, pay your warranty fee, and just be grateful you're not paying another five hundred dollars for a replacement phone/remote car starter/robot dog.