When I think of Miss Manners, I imagine a desiccated corpse sitting in an arm chair all prim and proper. The cobwebs spun over months of isolation reach from the carved wooden arm of the chair to the tip of her nose and the faded floral print of her dress, while her jaw remains frozen in an open mouthed grimace of dismay at the state of the world as it is.
Why? Why the hell are manners completely extinct? Case in point: I witnessed the following exchange at a coffee shop, and the simple inflection and choice of phrasing was enough to give me a double take.
Barista hands customer a drink with a visible inch of room at the top.
B: "Here you go! Have a great day."
C: "This isn't filled all the way."
Okay. So they didn't fill it all the way. Some people feel they're being shortchanged. That's too bad- it happens. But really- just ask the barista to fill it.
Example: B: "Oh, could you just fill that a little bit more?"
C: "Sure! No problem!"
See? Not so hard, really.
I had a discussion with a friend not too long ago, in regards to the evolution (or de-evolution) or manners, and we've come to the conclusion that they really did skip a generation. My theory is that people who were considered 'the elderly' thirty years ago (when I was a child) are now the ones who are considered the 'elderly', which may very well account for their lack of manners. Because, quite honestly, I haven't met an elderly person in my countless years of retail who has been at all polite when I have been polite TO THEM. I mean, I get being a complete jerk to some upstart brat who talks to you like you're an idiot, but I don't get how you can respond to a smile and a 'have a nice day' with anything other than a 'You too'.
People my age seem to still have manners- to a degree. The argument can be made that there are still quite a few bad apples who can't display a decent grasp on the concept of manners, but still, there are a fair amount of us who are nice and decent and don't treat those who came before us like they're unworthy of respect. That same argument can be made for any generation, I'm sure- because not everyone can be awesome.
But.
Honestly. If manners could just come back. 'Please', 'thank you', and 'may I', seem to have gone the way of the dinosaur, and if meteors were the explanation I'd be able to accept it. I'd like to believe that a flaming bit of rock took out all brain cells in select people that controlled the ability to be polite, but until scientifically proven wrong I shall have to hold on to that theory.
So my plea to the world is this: Be nice. Say nice things. If someone doesn't make your drink right, or gives you an inch of space in the top of your iced coffee...don't assume they're a jerk. Assume that maybe they think you want space for cream, since you didn't specify. Ask them to fill it, because I imagine it's no more of an imposition to ask that than it is to WAIT for the drink to be filled all the way, as you're going to wait either way.
Say Please. Thank someone. Ask 'May I borrow your stapler?'. Practice one nice thing every day, and I'm sure the response will eventually be a positive one, even if at first you get those crooked looks of confusion from those unfamiliar with...any of those words.
Please.
Thank you.
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