The word 'regular' is perhaps the most ridiculous word, aside from 'normal', which essentially means the same thing. It isn't a word that should be used lightly, but if I had a nickel for every time I heard that word in day I'd likely be rich enough to buy a car.
Examples: "Can I have a regular coffee?"
"I'm sorry, sir. By regular, are you referring to size or flavor? And what, pray tell, do you consider 'regular'? Are you from a place where black coffee is considered 'regular'? Or did you grow up in a family where it was 'regular' to put cream in your coffee? Maybe 'regular' is to have a cup of coffee that was brewed from a stale can of Folgers. Point is, you really have to be a bit more specific if you hope to get exactly what it is you're looking for without my asking a series of questions to narrow it down."
"Regular size."
"Again, sir, I'm sorry. But are you really so lazy that you can't LOOK AT THE MENU to find the size options? Or just...oh, guess. Take a stab, and say 'medium'. If you look in the dictionary I can guarantee you that the definition of 'regular' is NOT medium, although you seem to think as much. And if the coffee shop vernacular is too outrageous a concept to grasp, just use the same terminology you'd use in pretty much EVERY place you go. Repeat after me: 'I'd like a medium coffee. Black.'. Because 'black' in coffee language means 'nothing in it', and I can promise you that we'll understand that more than we'll understand 'regular' coffee.
I realize this entire post essentially became a great big bitch-fest toward those who patronize coffee shops, but honestly- how could it not? This is the setting in which I experience the most use of the word 'regular', and the least use of the resources available (specifically menus). Patrons more often than not will walk up to the counter and order a 'regular' coffee, or ask, 'do you have just a regular size coffee'?
I have half a mind to open a coffee shop of my own some day and just have a 'regular' size. Just one size, and list it as 'regular', to see how many people actually use the word. Chances are they'll come up with another term, avoiding the menu entirely to step up and order 'An average' or 'Something between a small and a large'.
People are irrational in most situations, but sometimes I wonder just what makes them so much more so in the retail world. That, of course, is a study for another day.
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