I've always wondered as to the origins of that saying (how does one spell 'bakey' when using the word bacon? Bac-ey? Wuh?). Wakey-Wakey already makes me want to shove a plastic straw in my eye, so...well, we don't need me walking around with a straw in my eye, so I shall stop thinking about the spelling of bac...ba...whatever.
We begin our tale on a warm summer morning, the musical sound of birds trickling through my open window as the sun poured its energizing rays upon my tousled bed. The day is warm, the air is fresh, and green grass overtakes the lawn with a burst of color that cheers the soul. Sounds nice, doesn't it? Well...it was really this morning, which was overcast and grey, so the opening sentences are really just a bunch of crap. Would have been nice if it was a dream, but I didn't even dream last night, as far as I'm aware, and if you read on I'll tell you exactly why.
So last night was a relatively slow night at work, and when I was finally released from the drudgery of shoemaking (Ha. Thought I was going to give it away, didn't you? I know I'm not fooling anyone who knows me- you all know where I really work,), I went to Walmart with a friend to pick up a few odds and ends. At that point I was drinking a nice flavored milk, and thinking 'Huh. I'm not really tired' (and no, I hadn't been drinking my usual eight hundred cups of coffee). This continued for some time, and upon reaching home I was able to use that surplus of energy to wash every dirty dish, sweep the kitchen AND living room, and put away said dishes after drying.
Somewhere in there I took two Advil PM.
Now, I can just hear you (especially you, Meredith- you know how it goes when I take sleep aids) saying how that probably wasn't a good idea. TWO of them? That's like letting TWO buses hit you and not getting the number on EITHER license plate! Well, a week ago I tried taking one, and the effectiveness level was zilch, so this time I thought two might be in order. What can go wrong, right? Nothing!
Nothing did go wrong, to be fair. I woke up two hours before my shift, and was dressed and ready to go by eight a.m. Because I was drugged, unfortunately, I had arranged for a ride to work at 6:40, and suffice it to say I missed that chance.
Things worked out, as things do, and I was offered an alternate ride to work. So I made it, and everything was absolutely fine. But this did teach me a valuable lesson: if you're me, it's wise to set more than two alarms when under the influence of any sleeping aid. In fact, setting four (two for each pill) is probably wise. Hell, call a concierge service and ask for a wake up call. Set a smoke bomb under your bed with a timer for maximum effect. Maybe even pay a small child (if one is readily available) to run in and douse you with cold water at wake-up time and in five minute intervals for at least twenty minutes following. Not the most pleasant snooze, but if you consider that waking up early isn't the most pleasant thing to experience, this really makes sense.
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